Prostate care

Prostate care is a crucial aspect of men’s health, as the prostate gland plays a vital role in reproductive function. It is a walnut-sized gland located below the bladder and in front of the rectum. Taking steps to maintain a healthy prostate is essential for reducing the risk of various prostate disorders, including prostate cancer, prostatitis, and benign prostatic hyperplasia (BPH). Here are some essential tips for maintaining prostate health: 

1. Balanced Diet: Eating a well-balanced diet that includes fruits, vegetables, whole grains, lean proteins, and healthy fats is essential for overall health, including prostate health. Incorporate foods rich in antioxidants, such as tomatoes, berries, broccoli, and green tea, which may help reduce the risk of prostate cancer. 

2. Hydration: Staying adequately hydrated by drinking enough water throughout the day is essential for optimal prostate health. Good hydration helps to flush out toxins and maintain healthy urinary function. 

3. Regular Exercise: Engaging in regular physical activity, such as brisk walking, jogging, swimming, or cycling, can have numerous benefits for prostate health. Exercise helps maintain a healthy weight, improves blood circulation, boosts immune function, and reduces the risk of prostate problems.

 4. Reduce Alcohol consumption: Excessive alcohol consumption is linked to an increased risk of prostate problems, including prostate cancer. Limiting alcohol consumption to moderate levels can help maintain prostate health.

5. Quit Smoking: Smoking has been associated with various health problems, including an increased risk of prostate cancer. If you smoke, quitting can significantly improve your overall health and reduce the risk of prostate disorders. 

6. Regular Check-ups: Schedule regular check-ups with your healthcare provider to monitor your prostate health. Early detection and treatment of prostate problems can greatly increase the chances of successful management or cure.

 7. Maintain a Healthy Weight: Obesity and excess weight have been linked to an increased risk of prostate problems. Adopting a healthy lifestyle, including a balanced diet and regular exercise, can help maintain a healthy weight and reduce the risk of prostate disorders. 

8. Manage Stress: Chronic stress has been associated with various health issues, including prostate problems. Incorporate stress management techniques like meditation, 

deep breathing exercises, yoga, or engaging in hobbies to reduce stress levels and promote prostate health. Remember, while following these tips can help promote prostate health, it is important to consult a healthcare professional for personalized advice and regular screenings. Taking proactive steps toward prostate care can significantly contribute to better overall well-being and reduce the risk of prostate-related complications.

For more information, book an appointment with one of our health coaches at Kind Counsel, where we specialize in Men’s health.

Men’s sexual health

Men’s sexual health refers to the overall well-being and functioning of the male reproductive system, including the prostate gland. The prostate gland is a small, walnut-sized organ located below the bladder and in front of the rectum. It plays a crucial role in male sexual function and is responsible for producing and secreting seminal fluid that nourishes and protects sperm. 

Maintaining a healthy prostate is essential for overall sexual health. Several common issues can affect the prostate gland, including benign prostatic hyperplasia (BPH) and prostate cancer. BPH is a non-cancerous enlargement of the prostate that can cause urinary problems such as frequent urination, weak urine flow, and difficulty emptying the bladder. Prostate cancer is the most common cancer among men and can affect sexual health if left untreated.

Regular check-ups and screenings are recommended to monitor prostate health. This includes a digital rectal exam (DRE) and a blood test to measure prostate-specific antigen (PSA) levels. These tests help detect any abnormalities in the prostate, allowing for early intervention if necessary. 

There are various lifestyle factors that can promote a healthy prostate and maintain sexual health. Proper diet and nutrition, regular exercise, and maintaining a healthy body weight are all essential. Foods rich in antioxidants, such as fruits and vegetables, can help reduce the risk of prostate issues. 

Incorporating regular physical activity and avoiding sedentary lifestyles can also contribute to overall prostate health. Additionally, some studies suggest that certain supplements, such as saw palmetto and lycopene, may have protective effects on the prostate gland. 

However, it’s important to consult with a healthcare professional before starting any supplements to ensure they are safe and effective. Lastly, maintaining a healthy sexual life can also play a role in prostate health. Regular sexual activity, including ejaculation, may help reduce the risk of prostate issues. However, it’s important to note that sexual activity alone is not a substitute for proper medical care and screenings. 

In summary, men’s sexual health and the prostate gland are closely linked. Taking proactive steps to maintain a healthy prostate, such as seeking regular medical check-ups, adopting a healthy lifestyle, and maintaining a fulfilling sexual life, can contribute to overall sexual health and well-being.

For more information, book an appointment with one of our sexual health coaches at Kindly Counsel.

CULTURAL BELIEFS ABOUT MASCULINITY

Today, a growing number of psychologists, research scientists, and other experts are contributing to our psychological and interpersonal understanding of men. Fields such as anthropology and modern brain science come together, often through the study of masculinity theory, to help men define themselves in ways other than previously conceived ideas of manliness, such as the “macho man” stereotype. Other similar stereotypes, which have often been cultural standards through the 20th century, still commonly impact male behavior today. 

A greater understanding of early human behavior and recent findings from modern brain science has helped create a deeper understanding of some emotions, behaviors, and attributes that may be particular to some men. This knowledge may help facilitate an understanding of certain actions, thoughts, and feelings that men may be more likely to experience, especially those that relate to traditional cultural ideas of masculinity.

Some research claims that stereotypes of men as “protectors,” frequently seen in literature, movies, television, and so on, have contributed to the development of harmful beliefs and mental health issues in men. In recent years, many see these ideas as problematic, and a number of social norms and cultural expectations are changing. Some men may find it helpful to deepen their understanding of harmful beliefs about masculinity that harm their mental health. The current societal understanding of masculinity may also make it more difficult for men to receive care when they attempt to speak up about a mental health issue or seek help. 

HISTORICAL PERCEPTIONS OF MASCULINITY

Male psychology and methods of therapy designed specifically for men are both relatively new. Throughout human history, men have frequently been defined by distinct roles as hunters, warriors, and providers for their families, tribes, and communities. The roles of men in these systems were seldom questioned or debated and generally were not psychoanalyzed. Leading pioneers in the fields of psychology and psychiatry, such as Sigmund Freud, the founder of psychoanalysis and modern psychology, had little to say about distinct male psychology.

Many male-dominated cultures may have often given men a higher status than women. Male rulers and military leaders as well as largely male-led businesses, churches, and societies have contributed significantly to cultural and social expectations of men. Today, the power men have in society is often seen through the lens of hegemonic masculinity, which is a term for the subordination of femininity by masculinity.

WHAT IS TOXIC MASCULINITY?

Toxic masculinity is most often defined as harmful beliefs about the nature of masculinity and behavioral characteristics of masculinity. These beliefs may feed into a man’s fear of emasculation should he choose to reach out for mental health support. The rigid standards that toxic masculinity often holds men to may make the concept of masculinity fragile rather than flexible and robust. Some examples of beliefs related to toxic masculinity include:

• Having more sex makes someone more masculine.
• Being more aggressive or physically forceful means someone is more “manly.”
• Being emotionally vulnerable or acknowledging one’s emotions is a sign of weakness or femininity.
• A person isn’t a “real man” unless they can display a certain level of physical and mental toughness. 

Toxic masculinity often begins to take root during boyhood. Boys may be brought up being taught that it is not appropriate for them to show or talk about negative emotions like sadness or fear; meanwhile, they are permitted to show anger or aggression. This may help explain why mental health issues in men can manifest as anger. 

Sometimes, boys are expected and encouraged to prefer certain toys or colors and to pursue particular activities. Boys who express different preferences or who attempt to pursue activities considered to be feminine may be gently discouraged, redirected, or in some cases, mocked. This behavior may be connected to homophobia and transphobia or fears that a boy will not “become a man.”

A boy’s preference for the color purple over the color green or his inclination to take ballet classes rather than to play football does not necessarily indicate sexual orientation, gender identity, or masculinity in adulthood. As an increasing number of parents and educators understand and accept this, children may develop fewer mental health issues related to repressing healthy parts of self. 

CHALLENGES RELATED TO FATHERHOOD

Fatherhood, while often a great source of joy, can be a cause of stress and anxiety. As children grow, fathers may face different issues related to child-rearing. Possible sources of stress could include: 

• Limited paternity leave. Some fathers may wish to spend more time with the newborn and experience frustration because they cannot be as supportive to their partner as they wish.
• Financial difficulties due to increased food and medical costs and other expenses. These may also place stress on a father’s relationship with any partner.
• Prioritization of the needs of the newborn generally leaves less time for partners to focus on their relationship.
• Sleep deprivation may exacerbate mental health issues.
• Paternal postpartum depression, which may occur in 4 to 25% of men and closely resembles the diagnostic criteria for maternal postpartum depression.

Fathers play an important role in the lives of their children. Research indicates that increased father-child time reduces a child’s risk of developing substance abuse issues. Many studies show that fathers, like mothers, can greatly influence child development. Stress and mental health issues in fathers were shown to have a negative impact on child behavior and social skills.

Currently, some fathers report biased treatment by family courts when going through the process of divorce. While caretaking roles have shifted dramatically in many American families since 1970, state laws regarding custody have not, and they may still be more likely to view the mother as the primary or sole caretaker of any children. Some argue that this has caused fathers to be separated from their children when they wish to continue being active caretakers for their children. Due to a fear that the family court system may separate them from their children, some fathers stay in unhappy relationships to avoid the risks of divorce. 

MEN AND SUBSTANCE ABUSE

Studies show that men and women are affected by substance abuse in a few different ways. Men are far more likely to abuse alcohol, binge drink, and die by overdosing on prescription opioids. From age 18 onwards, men have nearly twice the substance dependence rate of women. Men who are addicted to marijuana are more prone to antisocial behaviors than women and are more likely to have another substance use disorder. Men may also more often receive treatment for substance abuse through the criminal justice system than seek it out through a mental health care provider.

What causes substance misuse and addiction in men? Many factors are thought to contribute, including age, education level, and employment status. Mental health is another key contributing factor to male substance abuse. Depression is one common cause of substance abuse in men but may manifest as anger, tiredness, or sleep problems rather than as deep sadness or guilt. 

Males only therapy with

The Bare truth Therapist

It’s okay to ask for help.

Some mental health professionals believe certain social and cultural norms, as well as rigid beliefs about masculinity, may prevent men from seeking help. Men may also have a more difficult time trusting or opening up to a therapist, a process that is necessary in order to discuss personal issues.

Stigma surrounding men asking for help may also make men more reluctant to seek mental health treatment. Men may not come forward when they are victims of intimate partner violence or sexual assault because they are afraid of not being believed, having their experience downplayed, or being shamed for what happened to them.

Mental health issues may also manifest differently in men than in women, resulting in mental health issues going ignored and untreated. Men may minimize or not recognize their own emotional pain, causing it to bottle up in ways that may lead to physical health issues. Men are often more likely to externalize emotional pain or a mental health issue by showing anger or aggression or engaging in high-risk behaviors. This can lead to men being accused of merely “acting out” rather than being offered mental health treatment and support.

How differences in sexual desire can affect a relationship

Key point:

• The mismatch effect is the observation that partners who differ in sexual desire are less satisfied with their relationship.
• Couples that have sex frequently, new research suggests, can more effectively deal with differences in desire.
• Counselors should help couples resolve relationship issues that dampen their libido rather than finding a compromise frequency of sex.

Romantic relationships are distinguished from all others in that they are fundamentally sexual in nature. Furthermore, the vast majority of people expect their intimate relationships to be sexually exclusive. And yet, people differ widely in terms of how much sex they want, so it’s not surprising that one of the most common reasons that couples seek counseling is differences in sexual desire.

Past research has shown that, in long-term relationships, one of the partners will consistently want more sex than the other partner, and that this can create considerable tension and frustration for both. Previous studies have also shown that partners who significantly differ in their level of sexual desire report lower levels of both relationship and sexual satisfaction compared with those whose libidos are more evenly matched. This is known as the mismatch effect.

More generally speaking, research shows that couples are happier when they’re similar to each other over a wide spectrum of values, including personality traits and personal preferences as well as political and religious beliefs. So, it only seems reasonable that couples should be happier if their levels of sexual desire are closely matched. However, the observation that some couples still report high levels of relationship and sexual satisfaction despite differences in libido led University of Toronto psychologist James Kim and colleagues to question the validity of the mismatch effect.

Measuring the Mismatch Effect

Sexual desire mismatch is typically measured by calculating what is known as difference scores. For example, a husband and wife each indicate their level of sexual desire on a scale from 0 to 5 in response to the question, “How often do you want to have sex?” In this case, 0 would mean “less than once a month” and 5 would mean “every day.” If Andrew wants sex twice a week (4) and Bianca wants it once a week (3), then their difference score is 1 — that is, 4 minus 3.

Prior research shows that couples with wide gaps in sexual desire (“twice a week” versus “once a month”) report lower sexual and relationship satisfaction than those with narrower gaps (“twice a week” versus “once a week”). However, Kim and colleagues argue, this emphasis on absolute differences ignores an important finding in relationship science — specifically, the observation that couples that have sex frequently are more satisfied with their relationship and their sex life compared to those who have sex less often.

Kim and colleagues asked whether the so-called mismatch effect was due to absolute differences in sexual desire, or if it was really just a matter of how often they had sex. Consider a second couple, Caleb and Danielle. Caleb indicates that he wants sex twice a month (2), while Danielle wants it once a month (1). Their difference score is 1 (2 minus 1), the same as Andrew and Bianca’s above.

These two couples both have the same degree of difference in sexual desire. However, their frequency of sexual activity is quite different, with Andrew and Bianca doing it once or twice a week, while Caleb and Danielle do it only once or twice a month.

According to the mismatch effect, we would expect both couples to report similar levels of sexual and relationship satisfaction. Based on sexual frequency, however, we would expect Andrew and Bianca to be happier with their sex life and relationship than Caleb and Danielle. Kim and colleagues pitted these two competing hypotheses against each other in a study of 366 mixed-sex couples.

Difference in Desire or Frequency of Sex?

For this study, each member of the couple indicated their level of sexual desire. The researchers then calculated a difference score for each couple, as is typically done in studies of the mismatch effect. The participants also reported their sexual and relationship satisfaction.

After they had collected their data, the researchers looked at both differences in sexual desire and frequency of sexual activity to see which better predicted sexual and relationship satisfaction. The results challenge the received wisdom on this topic.

First, Kim and colleagues found that couples that are matched in sexual desire are not necessarily more satisfied, sexually or relationally, than those who are mismatched. This result seems to directly refute previous findings of a mismatch effect. Instead, the data from this study showed that couples are more satisfied when both partners exhibit high levels of sexual desire, even if they’re mismatched.

Thus, in the examples above, we would expect Andrew and Bianca to report higher levels of sexual and relationship satisfaction than Caleb and Danielle. Even though both couples have the same degree of sexual desire mismatch, the first couple has sex more frequently than the second couple.

Dealing with Differences in Sexual Desire

This finding has important implications for couples counseling. When couples seek help for discrepancies in sexual desire, counselors often encourage them to find a compromise frequency somewhere between the two. However, the results of this study suggest it may be better to help couples overcome low libido rather than settle for an unsatisfying compromise.

References

Kim, J. J., Muise, A., Barranti, M., Mark, K. P., Rosen, N. O., Harasymchuck, C., & Impett, E. (2021). Are couples more satisfied when they match in sexual desire? New insights from response surface analyses. Social and Psychological Science, 12, 487-496.

Muise, A., Schimmack, U., & Impett, E. A. (2016). Sexual frequency predicts greater well-being, but more is not always better. Social Psychological and Personality Science, 7, 295-302.

Anger Management

Anger is a strong feeling of displeasure. It is often a reaction to stress, failure, or injustice. Anger can range from mild irritation to full-blown rage.

It is normal to experience anger. At times, anger is the appropriate response to the actions of others. When managed correctly and kept in check, anger can be an important ally to a healthy adult. 

But anger has risks, perhaps more than any other emotion. It can alienate people from others and lead individuals to do things they later regret. People who have lasting, extreme anger may find it helpful to explore its causes with a therapist.

WHAT CAUSES ANGER?

The causes of anger can vary. It may be triggered by external factors such as bullying, humiliation, and loss. Internal factors, such as frustration or failure, can also lead to anger.

Anger is not always a reaction to a present circumstance. Sometimes a situation will unconsciously remind a person of a past experience. A person may displace their anger about the past onto the present situation.

Anger typically has less to do with an event and more with how a person reacts to the event. Certain negative thought patterns often precede an outburst of anger. These patterns include:

• Blaming: When a person claims negative events or emotions are always someone else’s fault. Blaming others is often an attempt to avoid responsibility or shame.

• Overgeneralizing: When a person gets caught up in black and white thinking. The words “always” and “never” are common in this pattern. Overgeneralizing often makes a situation seem worse than it really is. 

• Rigidity: When a person is unable to reconcile what is happening with what they think should happen. The individual may have a low tolerance for frustration.

• Mind-reading: When a person convinces themselves that another person intentionally hurt or disrespected them. The person may intuit hostility where there isn’t any.

• Collecting straws: When a person mentally tallies things to justify their anger. They let small incidents build in their head until they reach “the last straw.” The person’s anger then boils over in what most people see as an overreaction. 

By challenging these thought patterns, most people can reduce their anger.

WHAT IS THE POINT OF ANGER?

Anger can help individuals relieve stress by motivating people to solve a problem instead of enduring it. For example, a person caught in a frustrating traffic jam may look for a faster route home. A healthy expression of anger can open up dialogue about negative feelings. In a fight-or-flight scenario, anger can be necessary for survival.

Some people may show anger because they have difficulty expressing other feelings. They may have been taught that certain emotions, such as fear or sadness, are unacceptable. Masking these emotions in the form of anger may work as a defense mechanism. Anger may allow the person to avoid feelings that could damage self-esteem or cause more stress. Yet it can also hide the actual issue at hand, delaying a resolution.

EXPRESSING ANGER

Like many emotions, anger by itself is neither bad nor good. The consequences of anger depend on how a person reacts to the emotion. 

Some people feel that letting their anger out by screaming or yelling at someone else helps them feel better. But angry outbursts can become a habit. Aggression tends to cause more anger, not less. Moreover, the way other people react to anger can fuel an individual’s stress and may lead to increased anger.

Other individuals may express anger through passive-aggressive behaviors. Passive aggression is a subtle attempt to change, stop, or punish an action. For example, a teen who is upset that her family ate dinner without her may “forget” to clean the dishes that night. A person may feel passive aggression is a safer or more polite way to get what they want. However, it is more likely to cause confusion than solve the issue.  

Assertiveness is one of the healthiest ways to deal with anger. An assertive person will state what they need in a clear and direct manner. They will try to get their needs met without hurting anyone else. Assertiveness is the middle ground between being pushy and being a pushover.

WHEN ANGER BECOMES A PROBLEM

Anger is a powerful emotion that can influence people’s thought patterns and behavior choices. It can also cause physical symptoms. An angry person may develop headaches, rapid breathing, or a pounding heart. 

Anger may be a problem when it leads to regular aggression and violence. Someone with anger issues may find themselves constantly yelling or throwing tantrums. They may struggle to enjoy company without getting into an argument. Unchecked aggression can cause social problems. If a person becomes violent, they may also get in legal trouble.

Anger can also be directed toward the self. A person may engage in severe self-criticism to cope with frustration. Over time, they may develop low self-esteem or even self-hatred. A person may act on this anger in the form of self-harm.

Some people may be aware of their anger issues but not know what to do. The individual may be so overwhelmed with emotion that they feel unable to control it. Such individuals may benefit from anger management therapy. 

GENDER AND ANGER

Research suggests people of all genders experience similar levels of anger. Yet due to socialization, men and women often express their anger differently. 

Men often face stigma for showing sadness or fear. Yet society often labels anger and aggression as masculine. As such, men are more likely to express anger physically, perhaps by throwing objects or hitting people. They are also more likely to act impulsively on their anger.

Women often face stigma for showing anger. Thus, women are less likely to recognize or acknowledge their anger. Some studies suggest they are more likely than men to engage in passive-aggressive acts. Their bouts of anger tend to last longer.

Gender can also influence the type of anger a person typically possesses. Men are more likely to have a revenge motive around their anger. Women tend to have higher levels of resentment. Women also express more anger directed at themselves. 

ANGER EXPRESSION ACROSS CULTURES

Every culture has displayed rules about anger. Display rules are social norms about when and how one can express anger appropriately. Research has found trends in display rules among collectivist and individualist cultures. 

Collectivist cultures prioritize cooperation and group cohesion. Their display rules say it is more appropriate to:

• Conceal one’s anger to maintain harmony in the group. People may mask their anger with another expression or show no emotion at all. 
• Express anger toward strangers rather than family or friends. People in collectivist cultures often belong to fewer social circles. As such, they tend to be more committed to these groups. Arguments and aggression pose a greater risk for social isolation. 

Individualist cultures encourage independence and self-expression. Their display rules say it is more appropriate to:

• Tone down one’s expression of anger rather than eliminating it altogether.
• Express anger toward family and friends rather than strangers. People in individualist cultures tend to move between groups. As such, they may find it more important to get along with people they don’t know yet. They also rely less on any one group for social interaction.

Certain coping mechanisms for anger may be encouraged in one culture and stigmatized in another. Therapists who treat anger issues may need to be mindful of a person’s cultural context. 

ANGER AS A MENTAL HEALTH SYMPTOM

When treating anger, a therapist will likely address underlying diagnoses as well. Anger is closely tied to several mental health conditions, including:

• Major depression: Anger may be directed at oneself or at others.
• Bipolar: Irritability is a common feature of mania. Yet a person may also have anger symptoms in their depressive phase.
• Oppositional defiant behavior (ODD): An angry or hostile mood is one of the main signs of ODD in children.
• Narcissistic personality: A person who encounters an insult to their ego may lash out in rage. Anger may mask unconscious feelings of inferiority and fear.
• Posttraumatic stress (PTSD): People with PTSD often have outbursts of anger with little to no provocation.

People with chronic anger may also be at a higher risk of substance abuse. Drugs and alcohol can help mask anger temporarily. Yet they may also have the effect of worsening one’s anger, as drugs and alcohol can reduce self-control and tend to increase impulsivity.

If you or a loved one has anger issues, therapy can help. A therapist can teach necessary skills to manage overwhelming emotions. They may also help a person address underlying emotions and memories that may be contributing to the distress. With time and patience, anyone can learn to control their anger. 

Anxiety Disorder

A mental health disorder is characterized by feelings of worry, anxiety, or fear that are strong enough to interfere with one’s daily activities. Examples of anxiety disorders include panic attacks, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and post-traumatic stress disorder. Symptoms include stress that’s out of proportion to the impact of the event, inability to set aside a worry, and restlessness. Treatment includes counseling or medication, including antidepressants.

Usually, self-diagnosable symptoms include stress that’s out of proportion to the impact of the event, inability to set aside a worry, and restlessness.

People may experience Behavioural: 
hypervigilance, irritability, or restlessnessCognitive: lack of concentration, racing thoughts, or unwanted thought whole body: fatigue or sweating also common: anxiety, excessive worry, fear, feeling of impending doom, insomnia, nausea, palpitations, or trembling.

Treatment consists of therapy treatment includes counseling or medication, including antidepressants.

Self-care

Avoiding alcohol may be harmful and aggravate certain conditions.

Reducing caffeine intake reduces the risk of aggravating certain conditions.

Physical exercise:
Aerobic activity for 20–30 minutes 5 days a week improves cardiovascular health. If injured, pursuing an activity that avoids the injured muscle group or joint can help maintain physical function while recovering.

Quitting smoking quitting smoking tobacco.

Relaxation techniques deep breathing, meditation, yoga, rhythmic exercise and other activities that reduce symptoms of stress

Stress management pursuing an enjoyable activity or verbalizing frustration to reduce stress and improve mental health.

A healthy diet that provides essential nutrients and adequate calories, while avoiding excess sugar, carbohydrates, and fatty foods.